27 Dec I’m baaaaaaaaack!
Yes, I disappeared from here for several months. Yes, it was slack of me. Yes, I deserve to have stale Doritos and mouldy donuts thrown at me.
Before the stale mouldy food throwing commences, please allow me to explain! I wasn’t blogging because:
- I was setting up a news site called Samoa Planet. Together with my fabulous friend Sina R. Samoa Planet has current affairs from Samoa and the Pacific, opinion columns and lifestyle sections and all kinds of other stupendous stuff. Please go check it out and read lots and comment lots and debate and critique lots. And share it lots! (I will love you forever if you do.)
- I’ve been sick. But things have gotten better in that department and fingers/toes/eyes crossed that continues.
- I’m helping to plan a wedding.
Yes, you read that right. A wedding. As in when two people covenant to love each other through sickness and health, poverty and riches.
Remember that adorable child called Big Son? The one who promised to be my beloved little boy forever and “I’m never gonna grow up Mum. I promise. I’m gonna be small and stay with you forever!” That boy? Yes, well he lied. Because he’s been dating a rather splendid girl for 5 years and earlier this year, he proposed to her and she said yes. And while I’m happy for both of them, I’m also sad because he was supposed to be little forever and never grow up and never leave home and HE’S A BIG FAT LIAR PANTS! DAMMIT!
Yes I’m shouting. But just ignore me. I’m sure it’s entirely normal for a mum to freak out and wish her child wasn’t getting married. Right??
I said to the Boy’s father – the Hot Man… ‘Isn’t he a little young to be getting married?’
The Hot Man said, ‘How old were you when you got married?’
I said, ‘Twenty.”
He said, ‘How old is our son?’
I said, ‘Twenty-two this year.’
He said, ‘How long had you known me for before you said yes to marrying me?’
I said, ‘Be quiet. I don’t want to have this conversation.’
Because as we all know, I knew this man for exactly two weeks before he proposed to me. And I said yes. (I’m not sure who was sillier. The person who did the asking, or the person who said yes.)
The man then went on to remind me that our son has known this lovely young woman for a long time. A much longer time than we knew each other before getting married. They have weathered a great many things together and had their relationship ups and downs. He said, “Who are we to question his choice to get married now?”
Who are we? I dunno. HIS PARENTS MAYBE??!!! Specifically, HIS ALL-SEEING, ALL-KNOWING MOTHER!!!??? Who gave him life and raised him and sacrificed my six pack and my modelling career for him and who taught him everything and gave him everything. And I know everything he should do to be happy!!!! Dammit.
But after I had my little freakout. And ate lots of freakout foods. (Which really helped.) I had lots more clarity and peace and calmness.
Because yes, this is our boy. We have raised him and loved him and watched him grow into a rather amazing grown-up human being. We are ridiculously proud of him. Sometimes, I even forget that I sacrificed my Serena Williams abs so I could be his mother, because it’s been totally worth it! (Sometimes. Then all other times when none of my ofu’s fit – I’m not so glad.)
I don’t just love him. I actually LIKE him. As a person. A friend. He’s funny and kind and thoughtful and insightful and sometimes, he’s even wise.
So now that this rather amazing human has decided to love and cherish someone – enough to commit to marry them – I will trust in his judgement and respect his choices. We have spent enough time with his Significant Other to know she is a pretty amazing human too and she’s blended in easily with our family, so much that it’s like she’s always been a part of us. They challenge each other. They make each other happy. They uplift, nurture and support each other.
That’s enough to start a marriage with.
I’ve been married 23 years. Long enough to know that marriage is hard work. It hurts. We will be there for our son and his beloved through those difficult times. Marriage also brings a great deal of joy. And we will be there for our son and his beloved through those times too.
And in the meantime – I’m freaking out about whether I’ve got enough appetisers ordered for the wedding guests, and how many Bundabergs can each person drink?
Wish me luck. And give me your bestest wedding prep advice!